If I were a lifestyle vlogger in lockdown

Badly photoshopped image of a woman sniffing a jar of Biscoff spread with the text 'morning rituals'. Source image by Drew Coffman

Hi guys, welcome back to my channel!

It’s a bank holiday Monday so I thought I’d do a low-key, day-in-my-life vlog, with maybe a get-ready-with-me and what-I-eat-in-a-day. Later I might even trying-on-everything-I-own and closet-clearout.

It’s really important to have a morning routine, and you all know I’ve been reading The Power of Habit, so I have been trying to cultivate little rituals to start my day right. Currently I like to lie in bed for several hours staring at my phone and contemplating my own mortality. I’m trying not to focus on the news too much, so instead I spent a while reading gossip about fashion bloggers I used to follow back in 2009. It makes me feel very centred and present.

Now it’s time to get up and get ready for the day! I’ve done a lot of research on skincare and now have a 28-step all-natural organic Korean skincare routine which I spent an excessive amount of money on and don’t follow. My skin is looking a little rough because I don’t do any exercise and have been eating Biscoff spread out of the jar with a spoon – I swear this video isn’t sponsored, haha! – so I’ve decided to pick at the persistent spot on my chin for a little while and then do nothing. But I will think about how important it is to stay hydrated. Remember to drink water, guys!

Next up is picking out my outfit of the day. I’m going for that casual look so I’m wearing the same old t-shirt I slept in, which I think gives a real off-duty model vibe. Possibly even French. But I also wanted to dress up a bit, so I put on different pants.

If you’re new here, I’ve been practicing yoga for a while now, usually a few times each year when that “I should really be doing more yoga” guilt gets to be too much. Today I’m looking up “yoga for people with fucked-up shoulders” on YouTube and seeing what I get! Hmm, it looks like all of these videos are almost 20 minutes long, and honestly with my current busy lifestyle I don’t think I can fit it in today. But comment below if you’d like to see more videos about not doing anything to sort out my fucked-up shoulder.

Having a healthy breakfast is also so important – you know I love wellness – but looking at my kitchen, it looks like there’s too much washing-up to do first, and Ecover are still refusing to sponsor my clean-with-me video. So today I’m going to have some more Biscoff spread, because it’s important to treat yourself sometimes. And it’s vegan!

It’s a beautiful day outside and being connected with nature is something I really value, so I’m going to go for a long walk in Animal Crossing.

Oops, so I totally forgot to vlog while I was playing Animal Crossing and now it’s 2am! My shoulder really hurts from leaving my distended carcass on the sofa in the exact same position for 14 hours, so I’m definitely going to try to do some yoga in my next vlog.

Thank you so much for watching guys, please like and subscribe! And leave a comment below to tell me which male 90s celebrity you think my quarantine hair makes me look like – right now I think it’s probably the kid from Terminator 2.

Please like my channel, and also please like me.


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